Speaking my mind

Good morning!
 It is here anyway, morning, or will be soon. I just woke up, and it’s 04.40 right now and I just can’t go back to sleep.  I’m going to be a bit blunt, and speak my mind today.  That so wasn’t my intent when I started this blog, a whole two days ago but well, I don’t care! Maybe this could be a place for me to vent a bit and speak my mind. In doing so I’ll probably end up offending one or two people out there, and I suppose I should apologize in advance for that……well……

 What’s on my mind today, and maybe what’s keeping me up at this unholy hour is a conversation I had with a guy, just so happened to be an American, yesterday, places and names left out but let’s call him “Tom”.
I think me and “Tom” had a pretty normal conversation for being two foreigners living in Shanghai at first.
“the weather is shit right now”
“yeah really crappy, but it’ll get better soon”
“how long have you been here, and what are you doing here?”
The usual crap really, well for starters.
After a while thou Tom started listing all the things about China, and the Chinese that he didn’t like and that he thought was wrong. Yes, China isn’t perfect, but hey we (foreigners) are all here voluntarily. And Toms list was a long one (the longest one I’ve had to listen to so far).

Not seeing any point in arguing with him nor stating what should be the obvious, that if he didn’t like it, as I’m sure nobody is holding a gun to his head forcing him to stay, he could just leave China and go work someplace else, I just listened.
A bit amused by his take on China, and the Chinese as well as surprised at how little he knew about China and the culture he lives in, I was becoming more and more annoyed and frankly on behalf of all my Chinese friends and family offended by his choice of words, when referring to the Chinese (those are my friends and family you are talking about). He used words that, well you just don’t use them. What bothered me the most with Tom was his total lack of respect for his hosts, and that he so sincerely expressed his dislikes using racist terms, condemning an entire people, but at the same time he was ok with living and prosper in the same country, among the same people he so obviously dislikes.

Maybe it’s not such a big thing, I’m sure he doesn’t call a Chinese person by racist terms to his or her face, and would probably never use those words at all if a Chinese person would have been present at the time of our conversation and would never make the kind of implications that he did with me with a Chinese person, so they wouldn’t really have to suffer his bigotry. But it bugged me that he got to be here and enjoy all the perks of Shanghai while being this to put it in plain english Jackass. In my humble opinion it’s a privilege to be living here, and even if you don’t think so, as a voluntary guest in a foreign country you should consider it that, and act there after.
And then this guy comes along and tells me this place is no good, which to be fair he’s entitled to think, and I guess say as well, but insulting my friends and family as well as his own hosts I just can’t take. Yesterday I didn’t say anything and for that I’m ashamed, I could probably just have mentioned that my aunt and my cousin are Chinese and he would have stopped, but I didn’t (and I’m kicking myself for it) so this is me telling all off all the Toms in at least China.

I don’t say that just because you live in a different country you should take any kind of crap the locals are throwing at you, I don’t and I don’t think I should, all I’m saying is that while not taking any crap, you shouldn’t throw any either. Tom does.

The reason I felt that I needed to get this out is that this is not the first time I’ve met a Tom.
If this would have been a one time thing, I just happened to run into a ignorant bigot from “who cares where”, I would have let this go, but it wasn’t the first time I’ve met a Tom weather be from Sweden, the states, the UK or someplace else here in Shanghai, and it surprises me to be honest. You would figure that somebody that has the experience of living in another country would be more open-minded, that is at least what I think it has done to me.

I love this place and to be fair so does 90 maybe 95% of all the foreigners I’ve meat here too, and 90 maybe 98% of all the Chinese you meet greets you with kindness and welcome, but the Toms in this world could so easily destroy that, and to some extant it is already happening.

So what I really want to say with this, is to you Toms out there, don’t ruin Shanghai for those of us who really like this place, it doesn’t matter where you come from, if you live here, are here on vacation or just passing by, in China you are representatives of all foreigners and your behavior effects the way Chinese people look at me and my foreign friends here, that all really love this place. I suppose this goes for all countries you visit or may live in outside your own, but I’m here so this is about Shanghai. And if you don’t like it, keep it to your self while you are here and just apply some common curtsy to our host the people of Shanghai, China.

 

All the best

Gus

 

 

BTW, I have nothing personal against people named Tom, I just don’t happen to have any friends named that, so that’s why I used it.